Monday, June 17, 2013


Being the mum of a baby who resulted from DE brings some painful hits.

Several people - including my own husband, to his subsequent horror and shame - have referred to my son's donor as his "real mother". This week, a good, kind friend at work (who knows my situation) was talking to me about a plotline on a UK soap about gestational surrogacy, where the surrogate wants to keep the child. My friend said she thought is was awful, as the child was not genetically the surrogate's, "she just cooked it".

Like I said, "Ouch!".


S said...

As a fellow DE mom, this point is one upon which I have ruminated myself. For me, at least, I think the difference between you and I and a gestational surrogate comes down to one of intention. You and I carried our children with the intention of becoming their mothers, whereas the intention of a gestational surrogate is to, well, gestate--or to use your friend's less accurate description, "cook"--the baby.

I am sorry that her comment stung you. I have no doubt that your child knows who Mama is.

Journey Girl said...

Yeah I have had plenty of those situations happen with me too, I try to laugh it off as a language thing but it always hurts.