Just to say that I haven't dropped off the face of the earth.
I am feeling a lot better about the fact that we will remain a family of three but still feel like I need to sort through some of the stuff in my head. I will be seeing a counsellor next week and I hope that will help. I am due to have a prolapse repair and possibly a hysterectomy later in the year, which scares me silly - especially when you add sleep apnoea, high blood pressure and a clotting condition to the mix. Before that, I have an appointment at the breast clinic to check out the fact that I'm a bit lumpy and there seems to be a tiny amount of what looks like milk coming from the left boo*b (can make a small amount come from the right, too, but it doesn't happen spontaneously). I alternate between breast cancer and a brain tumour as a diagnosis - obviously hoping it's actually just a weird hormonal thing.
The boy is amazing and frustrating. His language comes on in leaps and bounds and he is so physically active. His listening ears, on the other hand, work intermittently and he sometimes smiles or outright laughs when he is told off. The nursery obviously find this as irritating as I do! He can also be kind, sharing and very funny. Probably a normal three year old! We are trying to potty train him at the moment and it ain't going smoothly - we will get there in the end though (none of my Primary 1 children have ever come to me in nappies, so I have faith).
I have several posts in my head about parenting after infertility and being an older mum and another several about my family and how the dynamics have changed now that my parents, my sister and her family and I all live in the same city. Maybe I'll even have time to write one of them sometime - there seems to be no time for anything else but work and parenting. I really miss having time with friends and being able to chat and relax. I feel like any problem I have is magnified by the fact that I can't just chew it over with a friend. Not sure what to do about that.
I am also trying very hard to find time to exercise in an attempt (along with half-hearted calorie reduction) to lose some weight before my op. However, see above re how my time is spent to get an idea of how that is going.
Does every other parent (who also works full-time) find life so squeezed?
Love you, Dad
3 days ago